A Long Due Apology.

Four years of college life come to an end.. you are in a new City... with new friends.. in a new job.. and then one fine day you decide to go through the pictures on your laptop. Everything was fine but then you decide to browse through your pictures and you stumble across the picture of your college friends.

You look at those happy faces, those smiles that even now don't fail to bring a smile upon your own. And then, it strikes you that you people are sadly no longer friends... at least not as close as you used to be. How? And more importantly "Why?".

You were so great together. You shared all those wonderful memories - from making each other laugh during lectures to consoling each other after exams, you went through it all together. But somewhere down the line, one day things went wrong. They just got so bad that things were simply never the same again.

Who's fault was it? Was it theirs? Was it your own? You don't know. And maybe you never really will. But does it really matter? No. NO, IT DOESN'T. You are far apart now and for all you know, you might never meet them again.

So, what do we do now? We apologise.

We apologise for not making it work while we still could. We apologise for not being there for them when they really needed us. And above all, we apologise for taking so long to understand what a complete doofus we had been to take so long.

I am sorry. I really am. I know things got really bad between us once but I miss you. I really do. Even if you don't decide to forgive me, you will always hold a place in my heart. And you will always be the reason why staying away from home felt so much better.

Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for making my college life worthwhile.

Yours truly,

Mayu

LOG KUCH BHI KAHENGE.

It often astounds me so as to how easy it is for people to judge others. Do they know that person well? No. Do they know why they did what they did? HELL NO. But they will judge them anyway.

Just a simple question, “Why?”. What do you people get from bitching about others? Who cares if her clothes are too short for that stick-like-narrow mentality of yours? How does if f****** affect you if he comes home with a girl? Why is it a reflection on her character if she chooses to smoke or drink? If it doesn’t affect your life in any way, why sit there sipping your pathetic cup of coffee and judge others life choices?

Living our life the way we want to is a basic human right. But society has somehow managed to find a loophole there too it seems. Yes they do what according to you is wrong. But it’s just according to  YOU. You don’t know them. And more importantly they don’t even know you exist least should they be bothered with what you think about them. So why waste your not-so-precious time and energy thinking about how wrong they are? Simply because your mind can’t comprehend their reasons for their actions,it doesn’t make them wrong. All it does is screw up with your already f****d up train of thoughts.

There is a reason we can’t read others minds. And the reason being if we were to read yours, we would end up questioning your sanity. My advice being- GET A LIFE. Or at the very least pretend you have one and let others be. After all no one really cares for your thoughts and if i were to quote Joey Tribbiani “It’s like a cow’s opinion. It’s Moo.”

Wings of desire

They say a man’s needs are limited while his desires go as far as the horizon is.  We want everything, from something as simple to a delicious cupcake to I-am-freaking-rich screaming cars. Sometimes it’s hard to even describe why exactly we want something. Sadly, our endless desires and the resources to get them don’t always go hand in hand. Oh dear, if only the world was a ‘wish granting factory’.

 The question is why do we want all these things?  Is it possible that somewhere in our mind we have embedded the thought that more things ultimately lead to more happiness? Is it perhaps possible that while trying to attain more happiness through these things we might be losing sight of the bigger picture? Okay but then what is the “bigger picture”?

How about attaining bliss by making the world a better place to live in?  Sounds familiar I bet but isn’t that only because we have just been reading and listening to others talk about it and not actually doing anything to make it happen?  Can we please try to help people irrespective of whether we know them or not? In fact, why just people? Don’t animals deserve our love too? Can we not confine our protest marches to the cases that acquire media attention? Can we not let others stop us from doing what is right? CAN WE NOT DEPEND ON OTHERS TO BE THE CHANGE?

Twenty years from now when you look back at your life what would make you gleam with pride and happiness? All that money you made or all that people you made happy? Think about the things we all can create together, all the things we can mend and all the people we can make happier. Just imagine how amazing it would be to live in a world as beautiful as that.

My greatest blessing, my Mother.

This blog is something that I have been meaning to write for a long time now; something from the heart.
It always seemed to me that most people knew what they wanted to do in life at a very young age. I used to wonder if it was something that came from within or if it was that they saw others and knew that that was what they wanted to become in life. I thrived to have what they did, an inspiration. It was when I became a teenager that it dawned upon me that for most it’s not the inner voice that they are inspired by. Inspiration is perhaps an incorrect term here. Most people are driven by their desire to be at the top of the ladder.
As for myself, it took me a long time to realize my fear of cockroaches (pretty much any of those creepy crawlies actually), ghosts (anything from Conjuring to the sound of a door opening in the middle of the night scares the bejesus out of me), my love of the color black, surprising hatred of the color pink (surprising as I am a girl) and those innumerable things that constitute who I am today. I would like to mention here that it took me falling into a water tank to realize that I am scared of dying as well.  On a serious note, finding who I am and who I would like to be is not something that happened overnight.
As we were growing up, I saw my mother grow each day as an individual. Her transition from a girl to a women and then to a mother is something that I didn’t witness and yet from what I saw in the latter years of her life, I knew her priorities and ambitions changed just as she did. She did more than just compromise for us; she comfort us in moments when she herself was in despair, found the strength to feed us while struggling to sit and ALWAYS put our happiness above hers. Some would say that we all transform as we grow up and mothers have always been known to care for their children. Perchance it is true.


 All I wish to say is
“Mother, all my life I have been told that if I don’t have an ambition, I will not become anything in life. I am not ashamed of admitting that I don’t have it all figured out but I want you to know that you have been my inspiration all this while, even if I didn’t know it and someday if I can become even half of what you are I know I will be the luckiest person on earth. You are, and have always been, my greatest blessing.”

Why so tech-savvy mate?

With the world progressing and expanding in all the possible dimensions, the new technology inventions swiftly manage to find themselves a space in our day to day lives. Since technology is in itself a vast subject to discuss about in one blog, let’s talk about communication, more specifically communication through texting.

Locations, pictures, videos, audio notes, documents and pretty much everything you can think of can be shared. As far as simply texting is concerned I cannot possibly tally how many applications are available for that. “Hey, are you on Whatsapp?” is the new and less hazardous way of saying “Can I have your number?”. Yes sweetheart, you weren’t fooling anyone. Looks like the time isn’t far when there would be apps to keep track of your bowel movements and of the places you have pooped in! ("Whaaaaat? There’s an app for that already? Seriously what were they thinking!”)

Stand pretty much anywhere in the world and throw a stone and it is more than likely that it will hit one texting his significant other, his friends or in some cases his colleagues. This is a trend that has caught on with people irrespective of age or social stratum.

Are they making our lives better?  Of course they are! Okay humor me and let us assume they aren’t. Our addiction to texting has started making us miss out on the bigger picture. Remember the time when you used to send postcards and greetings on special occasions? No? Well, there was a time (not long ago) when people used to write heart warming letters,  have a proper conversation with the PERSON SITTING IN FRONT OF THEM  and their ‘cool quotient’ was not measured by their virtual world popularity. Not just that, this new on going trend has made it so much easier for people to find new ways to deceive others.

Why are we letting our virtual life get the better of us? I mean seriously people get a life! Go outside and ...... I will get back to you on that. Just got a ping on Whatsapp.

                                

A.T.T.E.N.D.A.N.C.E.

While leaving our homes to start our college lives what were our expectations? To live the best years of our life there with our new found freedom, perhaps date the hottest girl/guy of our college, have a cool quotient higher than our IQ’s and yes of course grab a job that would put our I-doubt-you-will-become-anything-in-life relatives to shame. They promised us that our life of hardship was over when we worked our asses off to get into good colleges and all we have to do now is enjoy life. Our lives were supposed to be like those Hollywood flicks where people go on cruises, fall in love, eat, drink, sleep and in the end discover another side of themselves and go on to lead a life of happily ever after.

Reality check – Two and a half years of college life later I have managed to somehow drag myself through the semesters and out of bed (only because I couldn’t persuade anyone to give my proxy) and yes most of the times I end up going to class looking like a homeless drug addict because it turns out the hottest guy of the college is dumb as a potato and the others are... well never mind. 

College life is undoubtedly fun. Night outs, parties, hanging out at new places everything is picture perfect. But that’s not what it is supposed to be all about right?  Forget the seminars they organize for us to attain a ‘deeper understanding’ of the subjects, we don’t even want to attend classes. How are we supposed to land good jobs when we end up mugging most of the subjects and the rest are left to the grace of the almighty?

“There is no substitute for hard work.”- Thomas Edison

We have been taught time and time again that to accomplish anything in life we have to work hard. Not that we aren’t willing to do so, but perhaps a little bit of encouragement coming our way will help us go the extra mile.  Professors, how about improving your teaching skills and motivating us to attend your classes in ways other than deliberately scaring us with “You will be debarred!”. Not saying you teachers aren’t knowledgeable but perhaps scaring us isn’t the best way to make us study. Some might say that we would end up not attending classes at all if we aren’t made to do so. Well, your statement is self explanatory about why things need to change. College life would be so much more fun if we didn’t have to dread classes and actually learned a thing or two there. Not to mention we wouldn’t be praying for you teachers to come down with diarrhea. Just kidding! And parents, seriously stop with the hypocrisy of just study for # years! This is a goddamn never ending circle! “We won’t pay your bills if you don’t study!” isn’t helping either.

Why do classes and attendance go hand in hand? Hoping someone out there will listen to our pleas and justice will be delivered.

EGO: THE SCOUNDREL OR THE SAVIOR

“You can very well go to hell, mister!” Something that often crosses my mind these days, but seldom does one speak out such things. You ask why? Well, isn’t it frowned upon?  We are supposed to be soft spoken, well behaved beings that do not so much as swear in the solitude of their minds when offended. Is that one of the reasons why egoistic people often find themselves under the scanner? I cannot possibly remember how many times I have been told by people to let go of my ego and be the ‘bigger person’. So basically I would have more friends and lead a happier life if I was a less egoistic person?

Well, they might not be wrong. I cannot remember the myriad times I ended up hurting the people I care about and sometimes even losing them because apparently being the bigger person was not my ego’s cup of tea. And that’s not all. It won’t let me back out from an argument because not only can I not change my opinions, everyone else must also be on the same page as me. Every so often I find myself pondering if I am too great a person to be bothered by others outlook of me.

Sigh. But then is it possible that I am mistaken and that my ego is not the scamp I have condemned it to be?

Flashback: Not long back I used to like this guy who decided to leave for his own ‘reasons’. Was I hurt? Yes. Did I keep begging him to come back till even our politicians seemed to have more self esteem than me? NO. Reason: My dear misjudged ego. While the world and my beloved heart kept asking to plead, my ego told me I was better off without him and simply because one person didn’t think I was good enough, it DOES NOT define who I am. Okay before you decide to scrutinize my words all too well, I am not saying pleading is a bad thing. Also, don’t let it give you the idea that it makes me heartless. It simply gives me enough strength to let go of things I need to.

‘Show me someone without an ego and I will show you a loser.’- Donald J. Trump

“If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that... I believe in what I do, and I'll say it.” 
― John Lennon

Having an ego for the right reasons isn’t bad. An individual without an ego is perhaps someone who is at ease being a spectator or someone who would always be content taking home the consolation prize. Our ego is that thing that keeps us going when we decide to quit, that which helps us go beyond our comfort zone and come up with solutions that our otherwise naive minds would be unable to procure. Being proud of who we are or what we have accomplished is not called being egoistical. Again ego doesn’t preach bragging. One needs to be humble because no one is a know-it-all not to mention no one likes one. But when it comes to your area of expertise show them who’s the boss....like a boss.

All in all the same ego that often refrains me from saying the magical words saves me from a lot of embarrassment and heartbreak.  Our egos are fortunately or unfortunately a part of our identity.

So returning to my dilemma, should I let go of my ego?